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Str8 off the Streetz of Muthaphukkin' Cardassia


I'm a Starfleet thug and it ain't no lie
I've got more balls than the Enterprise
You're Wesley Crusher, I'm Captain Kirk
Getting space pussy, wherever it lurks
And when I'm sayin' "Come to my Ready Room"
It ain't Rura Penthe, it ain't your doom
You'll never forget this trip, you see
When you go cruisin' on my Enterprise-D
'Cause I've got more game than Spock
You'd best be afraid of my space cock
Warp 9 inches, warp 10 thick
Come take a ride on my space dick
And if you ain't sure I'll show you the way
My spirit's a snake but I ain't Chakotay
And Romulan Ale's flowin' like water
We'll trade dilithium to take us farther
So now you know the secret of my game
The Next Generation that don't feel the same
King of Space like Captain Picard
Soft on the ladies like my game is hard
My posse spans space like a Borg collective
As does my member, galactic and erective
And every night when I catch the ponn-farr
I make it with the ladies from every star
You know seven years is too long to wait
And I'll open you up like a wormhole gate
Rough like a Klingon or Riker-gently
I'm fully functional physically and mentally

No one can step, not even the Gorn
Try it but watch when my shirt gets torn
Cuz that only makes my beats grow tougher
Hide behind the Prime but just gets rougher
Cuz that Directive don't protect little bitches
Like the Ferengi, who try to bribe with riches
But I got latinum flowin' from my replicator
Smackin' down double-lobed Starfleet haters
You might be V'Ger, you might be Khan
But fakin' this funk is still just as wrong
Bring your friends and the Cardassian Empire
Set phasers to beatdown, we're ready to fire
Hell, bring the Romulans, I'll take them too
No Tholian web can stop a Federation crew
You can try to escape with a cloaking device
But always and forever there are four lights
You can't decieve, there's no reprieve
You ain't nothing, just Pakled thieves
We'll always win as our funk is true
Step and the hammer will come down on you
Who?  Starfleet, fool.
Number one under every sun
This song is over but my rhyme ain't done